Barack Obama Must One Up Hustler’s Larry Flynt Porno Bailout: We Must Give Free Passes to Bordellos as Economic “Stimulus”

January 11, 2009 at 8:04 pm 2 comments


Obama must bailout or nationalize bordellos as supply side economics. Free Healthcare Means If you get the 6 hour erection from Viagra, you get a free bordello pass, not a doctor. Change you can believe in.

Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry. Why would we want to bailout mere fantasy images when we can nationalize the fundamental source. We can bailout the supply!

 Our new President wants to spend an amount equal to all the taxes that will be collected in the next hundred years to reward people who cannot comprehend that a mortgage means you are actually supposed to pay for your home, and that your new four bedroom mansion with stainless steel appliances and granite counters is not part of the Section 8 free welfare housing you just moved out of.

Well, we have legalized executive crime. We are already subsidizing other business criminals, such as the auto executives and Wall Street and the ACORN fraudulent mortgages.

We might as well continue the government programs designed by the Democratic Party to destroy marriage and the family by legalizing prostitution.

Low income, and especially no income taxpayers, must be able to check a box on their no tax return saying whether or not they have enough cash for prostitutes, and if they don’t, the government absolutely must send out a voucher good for one free visit to the bordello every week.

Twice a week if you get a doctor’s letter.

Three times a week if the doctor is a specialist.

Maybe we could give them to heterosexual wives. Instead of that “I have a headache” routine, they could just ration out an Obama bordello coupon if hubby is nice about the rejection. This might actually reduce the divorce rate. See, bordellos can improve the quality of life for children who would otherwise suffer from a broken home.

For those of you under age thirty, “broken home” is an “Olde Englishe” term previously used to refer to that horror of horrors, a divorce.

In keeping with Obama’s “spread the wealth around” policy, low income men should qualify for welfare bordello vouchers, maybe as part of Food Stamps.

And we cannot have sexual discrimination. Women must also get bordello vouchers as part of their welfare. Of course, unmarried mothers pose a special dilemma: Obviously they found sex somewhere! But can we pay for them to have more sex and more babies for the working taxpayer to support?

Of course we must! They are people. They have rights, and it is not their fault that they are unwilling to work to pay for their rights. God made them that way. Christians must respect that. Besides, if we donate to feed babies, why shouldn’t the government take money away from us to pay for the act of making babies. It is hateful to use a term such as “screwing around!” to refer to the act of creating future welfare recipients.

And if we don’t pay for this, where will the voters come from to re-elect Obama in 2029 to his fifth term as Messiah?

“Give me your poor, your hungry, and we can show them how to vote twice.” Attributed to Mayor Daley, the expert on voting twice. You know, the man who showed Al Franken how to do a recount using a photocopy machine in a car trunk.

But back to basics:  If we can pay for men to get sex, we must pay for women to get sex.

And in the interest of true equality, we must establish gay bordellos, because once gays can get married, they will probably suffer the same absence of sex that afflicts married straight men. And aas a humantarian, I really want to give them a reason to feel “gay.”

We must  not forget the huge population of unfortunate gay women trapped in marriages to straight men. Psychologists must be able to dispense free Medicaid vouchers to lesbian bordellos for these victims of straight marriages.

Muslims have the right to get bordellos with foot baths and prayer rugs in case the six hour Viagra erection overlaps with prayer times. And the girls would wear facial scarves. Maybe someone could email me about how Burkhas would fit in this government welfare plan?

And if any bordello runs out of cash, we could use tax dollars to bail them out. After all, where could anyone find a man who will not claim he urgently needs more nekkid fems, Ooopps, except in San Francisco?

Then we could give vouchers to doctors, and if someone called in with the erection lasting more than six hours, like the Viagra commercials warn of, then the doctors could prescribe an emergency treatment of six hours in the FEMA run bordello.

Of course, vouchers for the bordello could be part of the Congressional Health Insurance package. This would greatly decrease the scandals in Congress. Such a policy would even have spared the most famous Democrat of all, Hillary Clinton of her husband’s Blue Dress Scandal.

See, sin and crime are entirely determined by perverts demonstrating in the streets and electing “I am not gay” mayors. Oh Oh, is this the ultimate extension of the way Harvard and Nancy Pelosi interpret the separation of Church and state.

The state uses tax dollars to pay for crime and sin, Democratically, whether it be in Detroit, on Wall Street, even in that den of iniquity and sin called Congress.

Church ministers are in violation of the civil rights law and subject to imprisonment if they refer to gays as perverts, or to homosexuality as an abomination.

So, government in the USA advocates and pays for crime, capitalist failures, and sin. To speak out against sin is a civil rights violation.

Oh my God, is this post a civil rights violation? Can I be sent to jail?

Do not put me in jail, please, look; I am advocating legalizing prostitution, including gay prostitution. Isn’t that enough sin to keep me out of jail?

 

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Entry filed under: abc news, ann coulter, Barack Obama, bias, Blogroll, cbs news, cnbc, cnn bias, comedy, dating, family, feminism, fox news, glenn beck, humor, Islam, john mccain, jokes, life, lou dobbs, news, politics, sexist pig, women's issues. Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , .

Cow Fart Tax! Change You Can Believe In! Barack Obama Wants to spend a Trillion for Fewer Jobs

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. david c roach  |  January 12, 2009 at 1:05 am

    political prostitution;
    and i’m already getting screwed by corporate/ fat government, and i’m not even getting a kiss.
    if you figure 1 trillion dollars (7 trillion, including the walllstreet bankers bailouts)- that works out to 10,000 for every man woman and chold in the US( more- using the 7 T figure)
    thats enough to pay off a forclosure. enough to pay off student loans, or pay for college. pay for a newer, smaller US car.
    If you save it, it gives your local bank money to lend out. if you invest it( hopefully not with the pirates on wall street who made this mess in the first place…
    But if it gets dumped on the economy al at once, lookout for inflation at the gas pump, wal- mart, and other greed.
    I would rather have main street spend it into the economy, and trickle it up, rather than wha will likely happen.
    And if things get really desperate, we could always invade poland- it worked in 1939- ended THAT global depression, didnt it?( im just saying..
    thanks!

    Reply
  • 2. Lawman2  |  January 16, 2009 at 12:17 pm

    not a lot to look forward to here in the USA over the next year or two… 😦

    Reply

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