Posts tagged ‘satire’

Barack Obama Sets New Record for Mistakes by Any New President


This is so sweet. Brainless Barry just keeps on giving.

He is already in a pis–ng match with the mainstream media that got hiim elected and he is only three short days into his Presidency. How delicious can it get? I love you Barry! Kiss, Kiss!

The only smart thing he has done so far was to con Bhillary into the Secretary of State job, which is the only cabinet position that is absolutely doomed to automatic failure.

I just cannot wait to watch Bhillary using her famous tact (I cannot stop laughing as I write this: Hillary’s “tact” Whee!!) to make peace between Isreal and the Arabs. But that amount of smarts is beyond Barry: it bears the unmistakeable mark of Rahm Emanuel, whose father and uncle are experts at blowing things up in the Mideast. Now they are blowing up Hillary’s career.

But back to Barack Obama setting the historical record for the most mistakes, flubs, and disasters between getting elected and getting inaugurated.

First, he failed to get sworn in like all 43 Presidents before him. The Chief Justice demanded that Barry redo the Oath the next day! Jeez, you cannot make this stuff up! And the next day his Vice President Joe Biden makes a joke about it in front of Obama! Did you see that video? Obama looked just like his cousin Odinga before he set fire to the church full of Christians. Dr. Jill Biden better check that Joe’s life insurance policies are paid up.

That big open mouth to mouth kiss she planted on Obama onstage at the Convention in Denver may not be enough to save her hubby from his big Irish blathering mouth.

So Barry is unique among Presidents in that he had two “first days as President.” And he screwed them both up! Change you can believe in! How sweet it is.

With permission, I am going to reprint this article with permission from that great lady and fellow New Yorker  Ruthie Goldman’ Here it is:

Obama’s Honeymoon Is Over After Just Three Days as President

January 23, 2009 ·

Isn’t this absolutely delicious!

First He bungles his first act as President, which was taking the Oath of Office.

Then he appointed and swore in his Cabinet before he took the second Oath of Office so maybe his Cabinet is not legal.

He appointed an Attorney General who arranged the pardon of Marc Rich, who collaborated with the enemy, swindled the public out of billions of dollars overcharging for oil, and set the record as the biggest tax evader in all history.

He appointed a Secretary of State that he previously said had no  foreign policy experience.

Then he appointed as Head of the CIA the idiot who forced the CIA to downsize under Clinton so we got misinformation about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

Even better, the One was too insensitive to even tell his fellow Democratic Senior Senator Feinstein about the CIA appoint, forgetting the minor matter that she heads the intelligence committee. Brainless Barry!

So  he tried appointing  Governor Richardson who was under investigation by the FBI for six months.

Then he announced a jobs plan for 2.5 million jobs the day before his Labor Dept said we lost 2.6 million jobs, showing he has his head stuck someplace it should not be. Cannot even talk to his jobs department?

Or is that his solution to global warming? Fewer jobs?

Then he appoints to run the economic bailout the incompetent boob who oversaw the disaster as Head of the New York Fed and to boot committed felony Tax Evasion.

Then Obama locks the Press Corps out of his make-up second inauguration.

Then he won’t let the media take photos or video inside the White House

Then he appoints a lobbyist or two to his team.

Then he bites the head off a reporter who asks why he hired a lobbyist after two yearas of campaigning he would not hire any lobbyist.

Then the media refused to use the photos forced down their throats by the White House.

So now the Messiah is in a pissing match with the media who elected him.

Never in the history of America has any President screwed up so much in his first three days!!!

The next four years are going to be fun, fun, fun!!!

January 24, 2009 at 5:45 pm 9 comments

Legalize Gay Marriage? Legalize Prostitution, Then Bailout Viagra With Free Vouchers to Bordellos


Well, we have legalized executive crime, and are using an amount equal to all the taxes that will be collected in the next 20 years to reward other business criminals, such as the auto executives and Wall Street and the ACORN fraudulent mortgages.

Now the citizens of that Socialist, bankrupt State of California are rioting to overturn the will of the people expressed by a clear super-majority vote in a clean and fair election. Specifically the homosexual population are proving that the false and misleading title they have chosen for themslves of “GAY” is untrue, and they are not behaving like cheerful and gay citizens, but like grumpy sore losers and want to find a “GAY” judge who is willing to overturn the will of the people and write bad law from the bench.

Might as well continue the government programs designed by the Democratic Party to destroy marriage and the family by legalizing prostitution.

That is another program being pushed by Gavin, the “I am not queer, I just look and talk that way and support all gay causes by accident” Mayor of San Francisco.

In fact, since we are bailing out everything and giving money to everybody, maybe after we legalize prostitiution, we can have people check a box on their income tax return saying whether or not they have enough cash for prostitutes, and if they don’t, the government could send out a voucher good for one free visit to the bordello every week.

In keeping with Obama’s “spread the wealth around” policy, low income men could qualify for welfare bordello vouchers, maybe as part of Food Stamps.

And we cannot have sexual discrimination. Women must also get bordello vouchers as part of their welfare. Of course, unmarried mothers pose a special dilemma: Obviously they found sex somewhere! But can we pay for them to have more sex and more babies for the working taxpayer to support. Of course we must! They have rights. If we can pay for men to get sex, we must pay for women to get sex.

And we must extablish gay bordellos, because once gays can get married, they will probably suffer the same absence of sex that afflicts married straight men.

Do not forget the huge population of unfortunate gay women trapped in marriages to straight men. Psychologists must be able to dispense free medicaid vouchers to lesbian bordellos for these victims of straight marriages.

Muslims would get bordellos with foot baths and prayer rugs in case the six hour Viagra erection overlaps with prayer times. And the girls would wear facial scarves. Maybe someone could email me about how Burkhas would fit in this government welfare plan?

And if any bordello runs out of cash, we could use tax dollars to bail them out. After all, where could anyone find a man who will not claim he urgently needs more nekkid fems, ooops, except in San Fransisco?

Then we could give vouchers to doctors, and if someone called in with the erection lasting more than six hours, like the Viagra commercials warn of, then the doctors could prescribe an emergency treatment of six hours in the FEMA run bordello.

Of course, vouchers for the bordello could be part of the Congressional Health Insurance package. This would greatly decrease the scandals in Congress. Such a policy would even have spared the most famous Democrat of all, Hillary Clinton of her husband’s Blue Dress Scandal.

See, sin and crime are entirely determined by perverts demonstrating in the streets and electing “I am not gay” mayors. Oh Oh, is this the ultimate extension of the way Harvard and Nancy Pelosi interpret the separation of Church and state.

The state uses tax dollars to pay for crime and sin, Democratically, whether it be in Detroit, on Wall Street, even in that den of iniquity and sin called Congress.

Church ministers are in violation of the civil rights law and subject to imprisonment  if they refer to gays as perverts, or to homosexuality as an abomination.

So, government in the USA advocates and pays for crime, capitalist failures, and sin. To speak out against sin is a civil rights violation.

Oh my God, is this post a civil rights violation? Can I be sent to jail?

Do not put me in jail, please, look, I am advocating legalizing prostitution, including gay prostitution. Isn’t that enough sin to keep me out of jail?

December 3, 2008 at 3:04 pm 12 comments


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