Posts tagged ‘sex’

Barack Obama Must One Up Hustler’s Larry Flynt Porno Bailout: We Must Give Free Passes to Bordellos as Economic “Stimulus”


Obama must bailout or nationalize bordellos as supply side economics. Free Healthcare Means If you get the 6 hour erection from Viagra, you get a free bordello pass, not a doctor. Change you can believe in.

Hustler publisher Larry Flynt and Girls Gone Wild CEO Joe Francis said Wednesday they will request that Congress allocate $5 billion for a bailout of the adult entertainment industry. Why would we want to bailout mere fantasy images when we can nationalize the fundamental source. We can bailout the supply!

 Our new President wants to spend an amount equal to all the taxes that will be collected in the next hundred years to reward people who cannot comprehend that a mortgage means you are actually supposed to pay for your home, and that your new four bedroom mansion with stainless steel appliances and granite counters is not part of the Section 8 free welfare housing you just moved out of.

Well, we have legalized executive crime. We are already subsidizing other business criminals, such as the auto executives and Wall Street and the ACORN fraudulent mortgages.

We might as well continue the government programs designed by the Democratic Party to destroy marriage and the family by legalizing prostitution.

Low income, and especially no income taxpayers, must be able to check a box on their no tax return saying whether or not they have enough cash for prostitutes, and if they don’t, the government absolutely must send out a voucher good for one free visit to the bordello every week.

Twice a week if you get a doctor’s letter.

Three times a week if the doctor is a specialist.

Maybe we could give them to heterosexual wives. Instead of that “I have a headache” routine, they could just ration out an Obama bordello coupon if hubby is nice about the rejection. This might actually reduce the divorce rate. See, bordellos can improve the quality of life for children who would otherwise suffer from a broken home.

For those of you under age thirty, “broken home” is an “Olde Englishe” term previously used to refer to that horror of horrors, a divorce.

In keeping with Obama’s “spread the wealth around” policy, low income men should qualify for welfare bordello vouchers, maybe as part of Food Stamps.

And we cannot have sexual discrimination. Women must also get bordello vouchers as part of their welfare. Of course, unmarried mothers pose a special dilemma: Obviously they found sex somewhere! But can we pay for them to have more sex and more babies for the working taxpayer to support?

Of course we must! They are people. They have rights, and it is not their fault that they are unwilling to work to pay for their rights. God made them that way. Christians must respect that. Besides, if we donate to feed babies, why shouldn’t the government take money away from us to pay for the act of making babies. It is hateful to use a term such as “screwing around!” to refer to the act of creating future welfare recipients.

And if we don’t pay for this, where will the voters come from to re-elect Obama in 2029 to his fifth term as Messiah?

“Give me your poor, your hungry, and we can show them how to vote twice.” Attributed to Mayor Daley, the expert on voting twice. You know, the man who showed Al Franken how to do a recount using a photocopy machine in a car trunk.

But back to basics:  If we can pay for men to get sex, we must pay for women to get sex.

And in the interest of true equality, we must establish gay bordellos, because once gays can get married, they will probably suffer the same absence of sex that afflicts married straight men. And aas a humantarian, I really want to give them a reason to feel “gay.”

We must  not forget the huge population of unfortunate gay women trapped in marriages to straight men. Psychologists must be able to dispense free Medicaid vouchers to lesbian bordellos for these victims of straight marriages.

Muslims have the right to get bordellos with foot baths and prayer rugs in case the six hour Viagra erection overlaps with prayer times. And the girls would wear facial scarves. Maybe someone could email me about how Burkhas would fit in this government welfare plan?

And if any bordello runs out of cash, we could use tax dollars to bail them out. After all, where could anyone find a man who will not claim he urgently needs more nekkid fems, Ooopps, except in San Francisco?

Then we could give vouchers to doctors, and if someone called in with the erection lasting more than six hours, like the Viagra commercials warn of, then the doctors could prescribe an emergency treatment of six hours in the FEMA run bordello.

Of course, vouchers for the bordello could be part of the Congressional Health Insurance package. This would greatly decrease the scandals in Congress. Such a policy would even have spared the most famous Democrat of all, Hillary Clinton of her husband’s Blue Dress Scandal.

See, sin and crime are entirely determined by perverts demonstrating in the streets and electing “I am not gay” mayors. Oh Oh, is this the ultimate extension of the way Harvard and Nancy Pelosi interpret the separation of Church and state.

The state uses tax dollars to pay for crime and sin, Democratically, whether it be in Detroit, on Wall Street, even in that den of iniquity and sin called Congress.

Church ministers are in violation of the civil rights law and subject to imprisonment if they refer to gays as perverts, or to homosexuality as an abomination.

So, government in the USA advocates and pays for crime, capitalist failures, and sin. To speak out against sin is a civil rights violation.

Oh my God, is this post a civil rights violation? Can I be sent to jail?

Do not put me in jail, please, look; I am advocating legalizing prostitution, including gay prostitution. Isn’t that enough sin to keep me out of jail?

 

January 11, 2009 at 8:04 pm 2 comments

Merry Christmas! I Am Off To Eat My Holiday Fruitcake


All the previous discussions of fruits, fruitflies and fruitiness has made me tired and hungry.

I am off to visit Rick Warren for Christmas fruitcake recipes.

My favorite  fruitcake has a lot of rum.

In fact, there is nothing like rummies and parties. Lets party CLICK THIS LINK

December 25, 2008 at 6:11 pm 1 comment

Legalize Gay Marriage? Legalize Prostitution, Then Bailout Viagra With Free Vouchers to Bordellos


Well, we have legalized executive crime, and are using an amount equal to all the taxes that will be collected in the next 20 years to reward other business criminals, such as the auto executives and Wall Street and the ACORN fraudulent mortgages.

Now the citizens of that Socialist, bankrupt State of California are rioting to overturn the will of the people expressed by a clear super-majority vote in a clean and fair election. Specifically the homosexual population are proving that the false and misleading title they have chosen for themslves of “GAY” is untrue, and they are not behaving like cheerful and gay citizens, but like grumpy sore losers and want to find a “GAY” judge who is willing to overturn the will of the people and write bad law from the bench.

Might as well continue the government programs designed by the Democratic Party to destroy marriage and the family by legalizing prostitution.

That is another program being pushed by Gavin, the “I am not queer, I just look and talk that way and support all gay causes by accident” Mayor of San Francisco.

In fact, since we are bailing out everything and giving money to everybody, maybe after we legalize prostitiution, we can have people check a box on their income tax return saying whether or not they have enough cash for prostitutes, and if they don’t, the government could send out a voucher good for one free visit to the bordello every week.

In keeping with Obama’s “spread the wealth around” policy, low income men could qualify for welfare bordello vouchers, maybe as part of Food Stamps.

And we cannot have sexual discrimination. Women must also get bordello vouchers as part of their welfare. Of course, unmarried mothers pose a special dilemma: Obviously they found sex somewhere! But can we pay for them to have more sex and more babies for the working taxpayer to support. Of course we must! They have rights. If we can pay for men to get sex, we must pay for women to get sex.

And we must extablish gay bordellos, because once gays can get married, they will probably suffer the same absence of sex that afflicts married straight men.

Do not forget the huge population of unfortunate gay women trapped in marriages to straight men. Psychologists must be able to dispense free medicaid vouchers to lesbian bordellos for these victims of straight marriages.

Muslims would get bordellos with foot baths and prayer rugs in case the six hour Viagra erection overlaps with prayer times. And the girls would wear facial scarves. Maybe someone could email me about how Burkhas would fit in this government welfare plan?

And if any bordello runs out of cash, we could use tax dollars to bail them out. After all, where could anyone find a man who will not claim he urgently needs more nekkid fems, ooops, except in San Fransisco?

Then we could give vouchers to doctors, and if someone called in with the erection lasting more than six hours, like the Viagra commercials warn of, then the doctors could prescribe an emergency treatment of six hours in the FEMA run bordello.

Of course, vouchers for the bordello could be part of the Congressional Health Insurance package. This would greatly decrease the scandals in Congress. Such a policy would even have spared the most famous Democrat of all, Hillary Clinton of her husband’s Blue Dress Scandal.

See, sin and crime are entirely determined by perverts demonstrating in the streets and electing “I am not gay” mayors. Oh Oh, is this the ultimate extension of the way Harvard and Nancy Pelosi interpret the separation of Church and state.

The state uses tax dollars to pay for crime and sin, Democratically, whether it be in Detroit, on Wall Street, even in that den of iniquity and sin called Congress.

Church ministers are in violation of the civil rights law and subject to imprisonment  if they refer to gays as perverts, or to homosexuality as an abomination.

So, government in the USA advocates and pays for crime, capitalist failures, and sin. To speak out against sin is a civil rights violation.

Oh my God, is this post a civil rights violation? Can I be sent to jail?

Do not put me in jail, please, look, I am advocating legalizing prostitution, including gay prostitution. Isn’t that enough sin to keep me out of jail?

December 3, 2008 at 3:04 pm 12 comments

CNN Sexist Pig Attacks on Sarah Palin


If Barack and Michelle Obama have any ethics whatsoever, if these two self-proclaimed agents and leaders of “Change You Can Believe In” have any authenticity, they must immediately make a public statement condemning CNN and Anderson Cooper’s slimy, off color departure from the ethics of journalism.

Otherwise Barack and Michelle Obama are not only more of the same old, same old, even worse, they are responsible for lowering the level of political discourse.

No major network news anchor ever told off-color jokes about Barack Obama planting a big, lingering open mouth kiss directly on the mouth of Joe Biden’s hot blond wife at the Democratic Convention in Denver, which was certainly potential fodder for off color mockery of CHANGE. All puns intended.

Before Obama, no major news network star anchor ever made off-color misogynist jokes about Hillary Clinton or Bay Buchanan. Yes, bloggers did, but the major news networks at least pretended to maintain some level of class and professionalism.

But Anderson Cooper sunk to new lows, casting a permanent, indelible stain upon himself and the networks that sinks to employ him, CNN.

Every American, regardless of political or Party affiliation has a duty too sustain, if not high, then at least respectable levels of conduct by major news networks. To do this

BOYCOTT CNN

BOYCOTT ANDERSON COOPER

SEE THIS GREAT POST:

http://carol1977.wordpress.com/2008/09/23/cnn-bias-hits-new-low-as-sexist-pigs/

September 24, 2008 at 5:56 am 1 comment

Obama’s Problem With White Women


Obama’s Problem With White Women

Hillary Clinton garnered 18 million votes in the 2008 Democrat primaries. Joe “I Swear I Said It First” Biden got less than 1% of the vote in Iowa and quit. Hillary Clinton is supported by more Democrats than anyone besides Obama. Joe “I Failed the Course in Law School For Plagiarism, But I Still Graduated” Biden was disqualified for higher office 20 years ago, when he was caught plagiarizing a speech by Brit politician Neal Kinnock (in which Biden claimed he was the son of a coal miner, as Kinnock is, and Biden ain’t), lying profusely on his resume, and flunking a course in law school for plagiarism. He was collectively laughed off the public stage. He is now a very old man — funny how many jokes are told about his age.

So, you have a vibrant white woman with overwhelming popularity, especially among those demographics that Obama desperately needs, versus an old, decrepit, disgraced, lying creep who has captured the imagination of exactly one person — Joe “I Give 0.01% of My Salary to Charity Every Year, But I demand Your Paychecks” Biden.

You would think Obama’s choice would have been a no-brainer. Combine forces. Polls show that if Hillary was on the ticket, Obama would be soaring near 20 points above McCain/Palin. As it is, it’s a statistical dead heat.

This was a mystery until Governor Palin was nominated. All of a sudden, Mr. New Politics, Mr. Change, Mr. Pocket Change is beating up on her — a white woman. Whereas it is a convention in American politics for vice-presidential nominees to attack the opposite candidates so that the top of the ticket can appear “presidential” (you certainly don’t see Senator McCain ripping into Joe “You Mean My Dad Was Not A Welsh Coal Miner?” Biden), Mr. Cool Breeze is ripping Mrs. Palin a new one, in the most vile and vicious manner. His own campaign flacks have admitted that they’d rather not see him even address her, yet he’s out on the stump calling her a pig, thinking he was so slick that he could deny it, as when he gave Hillary the finger. Oh yeah, he is Mr. Jack Slick, a little blow, a little chronic, nobody know.

I have sympathy for Obama, however. Apparently, he is merely carrying out the wishes of that wife, who affectionately calls him “Obambi”. He doesn’t want to get his throat slit with a straight razor.

That is one mean garden implement.

September 22, 2008 at 10:27 am Leave a comment


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